I'm loosing sleep.....

...over the story about our neighbors that were arrested this week on child abuse charges. I know that maybe I need to move on, but the more details that are released in the news the sicker I feel. Here is the latest article I just found in our newspaper:

Child abuse victims get some gifts

Janice Peterson - Daily herald
In the aftermath of a severe child abuse incident in Eagle Mountain, officers working the case discovered a new tragic detail: The 8-year-old boy suffering in the intensive care unit had his birthday only two days before the case was reported.
"We're pretty sure he spent that birthday sitting in the bathroom, half-naked, locked in there," said Utah County Sheriff Jim Tracy.
A group of officers and human services workers who met for a debriefing on the case acted quickly for the boy, who they thought was dead when they found him, passing around a collection for an action-figure fund. Tracy said officers were touched by the boy's condition, as any person would be, and wanted him to have a few toys for his birthday.
"I guess he was pretty happy with them," he said.
The boy and his 9-year-old sister were discovered Tuesday night after a concerned neighbor called about the nearly naked girl standing in the yard, covering herself with a newspaper. Officers arrived to find the malnourished girl, weighing 38 pounds, who had climbed out a bathroom window and fallen 12 feet to escape.
The girl told police her younger brother was still in the home, locked in another bathroom, and they soon entered the home to find the boy curled in the fetal position, barely alive. Tracy said the 43-pound boy had a pulse of 46 beats per minute -- so faint that responding officers could barely feel a pulse at all.
Both children were taken for malnutrition and multiple physical injuries to Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City, where they are still recovering.
"These pictures of the children will break your heart," Tracy said.
Since being removed from their home, the children have warmed up slightly to detectives, though Tracy said they continue to be reserved and cautious. Both are doing better, though the boy is still unable to eat any solid food. Tracy said the boy's condition makes it clear his life was saved by his sister and an observant neighbor.
"His body is so emaciated that he was throwing up," he said.
Lt. Mike Brower said the boy has regained some color, but he is not out of the woods yet. Because of his condition, detectives were unable to talk to the boy for more than a day and a half. Despite their reservations, the children have done better in their new circumstances.
"They have indicated that they are happy to be out of that environment," he said.
The children had been living with their aunt, Mary Heath, and her boyfriend, Sekoa Aiono. Police say Heath gained custody of them from her sister about one year ago. Heath and Aiono were booked into the Utah County Jail on two charges of child abuse with a $25,000 bail.
Melissa Stout, a detective who has been working with the children, said both children suffered greatly at the home, and the boy still has not been able to walk. Stout said the idea to buy him something for his birthday was a natural instinct felt by many involved with the case.
"I don't even think he got to wear clothes or eat food on his birthday," she said.
Stout said she took a camouflage Batman action figure and a Hulk on a four-wheeler to the boy, and a new book for the girl, who is teaching herself Spanish. The Department of Child and Family Services also brought the pair socks and underwear and the emergency-room doctor brought them each a toy as well. Stout said the toys and other services help the children to be more open to adults who want to help.
"These children, they feel like they can't trust anyone or anything," she said.
Stout said the mother and grandmother of the children have been contacted. She could not comment on the status of guardianship, but she said the grandmother has been the legal guardian and flew in from Florida to see the children.
Although Stout said it is important to help the children feel more comfortable with officers and hospital staff, there must also be a balance so they do not think they are being given toys in order to talk or give certain testimony.
Brower said people involved with the children may naturally want to help, but officers also have the duty to remain impartial and obtain every bit of information on every side that is important to the case.
"Obviously we're going to be professional in the duties in our investigation of any crime and take in every aspect of the crime," he said.

Also....there are some comments that have been posted on a local news web page.

I'm interested in hearing how it is possible for the young boy to be so near death without anybody - a teacher, a neighbor, a friend, knowing what's going on. I can't imagine that everything has been just great up until early Tuesday when suddenly he's near death. Have the kids been going to school? Do they have neighborhood friends? I would like some follow up done to this story. What I've read in the paper and heard on the news makes it sound like everyone was so surprised and shocked but how is it possible for two children to be malnourished to the point where one of them nearly dies without anybody wondering what's going on? My own experience is that calling DCFS rarely accomplishes any kind of investigation but honestly I'm having a hard time believing that NOBODY had any inkling of a problem.

So me and my neighbor responed to the post with:

Honestly, I can totally understand how you feel and the questions you have. We have all heard stories like this before and it is so easy to think what horrible people they must have been.....that is...until you experience it first hand. The lesson me and my neighbors have learned from this is "You really don't know what goes on behind closed doors". When you have a family like this one (that we knew and hung out with) and everyone thought they were "so cool" it is a shock to everyone.

I can tell you first hand that I have seen the kids...from time to time, of course not everyday, but those times that I have seen them or they have come over they look and act totally normal. When you see them from time to time and see that they are ok of course you are not going to have any red flags going up. We have also been invited into their home for dinner, it was clean, and nice, and again...never any red flags.

You asked how no one saw this kid out and about...do you really think that abusive adults are going to starve or beat their kids and send them right out to ride their bikes....obviously they have gotten away with this because they are not idiots.

We were also told that the kids were homeschooled. We had been told that since they had been in a bad situation before she got the kids that they were really behind and could hardly read. They told us that they didn't want them going to public school until they were more up to speed. Of course, knowing what we know now...we know all of the things that they told us where lies, but the time...it all made perfect sense.

One of the only experiences that I can think back on is we had this family over for a BBQ in August...they came down, brought food, sat and watched the Olympics and had a great time. It was only the mom, boyfriend and the little 4 year old. When we asked where the older two kids were they told us they were at a sleep over at a cousins house. So ask yourself....when they told us they were at a sleep over...is that enough to call for a search warrant??? Really....nothing ever seemed out of the ordinary!!!

The only reason me and my neighbor even decided to reply to this comment was to let others know where we are coming from. If anyone really thinks that abuse happens for everyone to see...then there wouldn't be so many people that get away with it. Of course now we feel fooled and so mad!!! This experience will change how I think of everyone. Who will I allow my kids to play with? Who will we invite into our home? How do you start to trust people again???

I just sit here still feeling sick, confused, and can't stop thinking about all of it. Me and Jason have talked this to death...trying to recall times with this family and think of things now that maybe could have been signs of problems. We are stumped!